The Super Bowl is right around the corner and, as usual, the actual game is the least fun part of the whole experience (although, in all fairness, the last couple of years featured great matches that went down to the wire). Nevertheless, the Super Bowl is not really about sports. It's about parties, guacamole, beer, two weeks of media frenzy, funny ads, and of course, prop bets.
So, without further ado, here are my picks to Super Bowl XLIV:
Coin Toss: Tails
The analysts are saying Heads is a lock this year and I'm just a sucker for an underdog.
Team to win the Coin Toss: Colts
The Colts are the designated home team this year, which means the Saints will call it. They will probably follow the football pundits and pick Head. Unfortunately, that won't be the only loss the Saints will suffer that day.
Team to receive the opening kickoff: Saints
The Colts will probably defer the choice to the second half, which means the Saints get to receive it first.
First penalty: Holding
I just hope it doesn't happen to the Saints.
First team to commit a turnover: Colts
I just know Manning will throw a first half interception. I fear Brees will answer with two second half interceptions, but that's not the point here.
First team to call a timeout: Saints
And it will happen early in the second quarter.
First team to score: Colts
And on their first possession, to boot.
First score: Touchdown
Although I'm really rooting for a safety on Manning.
First endzone celebration: Flex Biceps (followed by a group hug)
I'd usually go with a spike, but it's the Super Bowl and the players usually keep the ball.
First player to score (jersey number): over 25.5
I'm taking the over here because I'm convinced it will be a Manning-Clark connection.
Yards gained in first TD: over 8
I'd say 12 yards sound about right.
Time elapsed before first score: over 4:30 minutes
Not much later, though.
Total interceptions: over 2.5
Three is the number here. One by Manning, two by Brees - the second of which will be the result of one of those desperate last-minute attempts.
Total points: under 56.5
It won't be the shootout everybody is expecting just because it would be too much fun to watch and life is inherently unfair. Deal with it.
Total one-handed catches: under 1.5
Maybe one, by Marques Colston. Definitely not two.
Manning TD passes: under 2.5
Two sounds about right here. But then again, I've been wrong before.
Brees TD passes: under 2.5
I really wanted to say 3 or 4, but I think Brees is in for a long day. He will get two, though.
More passing yards: Brees over Manning
I see Brees getting 300 and Manning with a little over 250. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean Brees will be the one smiling in the end.
More rushing yards: Pierre Thomas over Joseph Addai
I think I might end the Super Bowl with more rushing yards than Addai.
Dwight Freeney sacks + tackles for loss: under 1.5
Because he's a beast, he might be able to pressure Brees and maybe even knock him down once or twice, but I'd be really surprised if he gets even one sack hopping on one leg.
Last team to score: Saints
Sadly, it won't matter.
Time remaining at last score: over 1:30 minutes
And the game will be over much sooner than that.
MVP: Manning
Who else?
Time left when gatorade shower happens: under 45 seconds
Not that they will need to wait that long.
Color of the Gatorade: Clear
Just because a bland gatorade color suits perfectly a coach that barely looks alive.
Super Bowl Champs: Colts
And they cover the spread (-5.5). But I sure hope I'm wrong on this one.
Times Kim Kardashian is shown: over 2.5
At least twice that much.
Times Archie Manning is shown: over 5.5
The line I saw was 2.5, way too low. I decided to bump it to 5.5, but I still take the over.
More times shown: Eli Manning over Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian
Just because he will be next to Archie, and Peyton will do more than Reggie Bush, so they will have more reason to show the Mannings than the Kardashians - which is, again, unfortunate.
Times Hurricane Katrina is mentioned: over 4.5
I see them milking this story all day long.
More times mentioned: N. Orleans and Katrina over P. Garçon and Haiti
Haiti is more recent, but Garçon is only one man. Plus, Katrina happened in the US.
Kim Kardashian's attire: Generic Saints shirt
A Bush jersey would be too obvious, but she will definitely be sporting some sort of Saints apparel. It will have the Fleur-de-Lis and it will be tiny.
Bigger total: Kim's measurements (34-26-39) over Bush's running and receiving yards
Bush won't have a great game. Plus, I would never bet against such a perfect ass.
Number of 'Who Dat' signs shown in audience: over 9.5
And yet most of them will be incredibly lame.
Number of times TV guys will make the case for Manning as the best QB ever: over 2.5
There's just no ceiling for that one.
No comments:
Post a Comment